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Journey of Guardianship: Part 4

While Quantum Healing Hypnosis can be an amazingly powerful tool, it certainly isn’t the only approach for this level of discovery and personal work. While we continued to explore and experiment with QHHT, I also decided to accept session offers from two other close friends and remarkable practitioners. The first was my dear friend Deb.

Deb is an fascinating intuitive healer. I have watched her speak to people and then suddenly stop mid-sentence and ask an out of the blue question, either about the person’s health or perhaps about someone near to them who had recently passed. Random questions in the middle of an unrelated conversation, like “what’s going on with your back?” were usually met with a kaleidoscope of emotions on the receiver’s face. First confusion, then contemplation, recollection, and a brief moment of befuddlement, before revealing that they had chronic slipped disk that even they themselves had momentarily forgotten about. I’ve yet to see her be wrong. So, when Deb offered to drill down deeper into my issues with my dad, I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity.

The session with Deb was…. Interesting. I wasn’t sure what to expect, I really didn’t understand her methods, and honestly, I still don’t. She’s just one of those extremely gifted souls who just wants to help make the world a better place, and has the level of gifts to be able to facilitate and nurture just that. First thing that was a bit unusual was our session was done over a video call. I wasn’t sure how that was going to work, but since we were friends, and shared that energetic connection, it made sense that we didn’t necessarily have to be in the same room. It was also a curious mix of conversation and meditation and I seemed to flow in and out of both effortlessly. We called in my Guides, she called in her Guides, and we got down to the business at hand.

One of the primary things she had determined was that if I was to truly heal what was going on with me, I was going to need to get stripped down to bare bones spiritually. I have always felt it, but she confirmed, that if there was a warrior culture throughout the ages, I had been a part of it at some point. And every death, every kill, every raid, had all left their marks on me in various ways. She saw layers upon layers of armor that I was still wearing and carrying. Those would have to go if I was ever to heal the wounds underneath. I envisioned removing each layer of armor and compacting and condensing it down into a single link of chain. Each successive layer became the next link, and so forth. See, I know each of those layers still probably had something to teach me, and I wanted to remain in contact with them, even as I freed myself from their encumbrance. I decided on making them into a mental chain to wear around my neck because during the ceremony of knighthood, the candidate is given a heavy gold chain to wear around their neck as a reminder of the obligations to which they had sworn. It is the burden they must carry. These suits of armor are still part of my burden. Someday I will release them, but I will always recognize the responsibility that they represent. Once we managed to get underneath all of that, we were able to address some of the spiritual wounds I had been left with.

Throughout this whole process, Deb would grab a book here, or a set of oracle cards there. She would sometimes read a pertinent paragraph, or draw a card to assist in describing what was happening or to ease my understanding of a more complicated concept. And the whole time, I would feel like my body was in some kind of astral mechanic shop, with guys climbing all over and around me, tightening bolts or throwing mystical Bondo on the rusty surfaces. During the session, I received a number of messages, some personal and some about the Guardians project I was undertaking.

One of the major messages I got for myself, was that I am not broken. Through all of my certainty of my path, and all of the appropriate confidence of the teacher/healer I am working to become, there was always the fear of my ego, and the anxiety that I was not up to the task. But I was told, both internally and through Deb, that I am not broken. There is to be no more insecurities or uncertainties. And above all, there was to be no more fear.

Once I had been stripped and buffed and had my oil and filter changed, I could get down to the real reason I was there, to make an attempt at processing my issues with my dad. Deb and her Guides were able to provide me, not an answer, but a new question to chew on. What did my dad teach me? It seems like it’s a  ridiculously simple question, but at the same time it is a remarkably profound one. Now, this is not so straightforward as just learning to ride a bike or fly a kite. Nor was it the more negative things that he demonstrated through his relationship with his kids or my mom. This question begged an intensive and sweepingly infinitesimal examination. What DID he teach me? Well, on the surface there were really good lessons of loving your family in the best way you know how. I learned a great deal of my problem-solving skills from him by watching him think out some of his carpentry projects. He had his own brand of creativity, even as he bashed mine. But that really is the key to this question of what did I learn. I needed to see the lessons beneath the chiding, the mockery, and the beatings. When he was selfish, I learned service and selflessness. When he was careless, I learned consideration. When he mocked something or someone, I learned tolerance and love. This was the true balance in our relationship. These were the lessons he really taught me. These were the lessons I needed to learn and take with me as I moved forward with this project. These are the axioms by which I try and live my life. Selflessness, consideration, tolerance, and balance, and to me they all add up to love.

And that was what my father really taught me, those universal truths. Every “negative” life lesson we have ever experienced contains the truth of one of those words.

::Continued in Part 5::

In life, in love, and in spirit, Keep pushing for that positive forward motion

~ Bear