Who do you share your feelings with?

[Sacred Guardian]

#2568 Reply |

:: Edited on 9/10::

As I’ve mentioned before, we, as men, have built up this facade of imperviousness, but we all know it is a lie. We do get hurt. We do fall down.
Who do you talk to? Where do you go when you need support?

Watching episode 2 of Man Enough Dr. Michael Kimmel cites a survey from the 1970’s that asked, “Who are the men you are most likely to tell your deepest secrets to?” The answers may, or may not, surprise you. #1 Bartender, #2 Barber, #3 Priest, #4 A family member. Friend was 5th on the list, why? Why would we rather talk to strangers than someone we are close to?

I think that it goes back to the social constructs we hide under. We’re afraid of appearing weak or like we don’t know all the answers. I hate to break it to you, none of us have all the answers. No man is an island, right? So why can’t we talk to our close friends and work things out? Seems like the most logical thing in the world to me to get a different perspective, or maybe hear suggestions of things we hadn’t thought of yet. There’s no weakness there. In the Victorian era, men used to adjourn themselves after dinner and discuss “business.” No this could have been topical news, to who’s doing what with their company, and successful men listened, interjected, and aided the less successful in the group in oder to maintain their social status of surrounding themselves with other successful men.

If it helps, I’m here. Send me an email. I’m happy to listen without judgement. And I  guarantee that I will view you as a stronger man for it.

 

Namasté my Brothers.

~ Bear

[James]

#2570 Reply |

I find that I have always had feminine energy surround me since I was little. But not to many males around, adding the label and context of homosexuality, it became difficult. Any male mentors I had growing up I realized didn’t stick around long (Revelation I just had now) that could tie to my father/mother’s relationship and history but its a fact nonetheless.

Since then Ive grown very independent, and I am the one that people come to, but as for me and my mentors they are all female which makes the conversation a little easier to share but not always.

[Sacred Guardian]

#2572 Reply |

James,
I always thought it was easier to make friends with the girls too.
I’ve always found myself outside of the mold of the “typical male.” I’m not a big sports guy, and if I try to start conversations like these with most of my male friends, they shy away. Men seem to want to talk AT each other, rather than WITH each other.
I am very glad you found your way here and I look forward to talking and sharing with you.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by Sacred Guardian.

[Author]

Posts